Ruby Redbird Rules the Roost

by J.S. Holland

Damn. Tough day at the office. I almost never say that, so when I do, you know, it was some fresh hell indeed.

Last night I, uh, overindulged somewhat with the Pinnacle Whipped Cream Vodka (It seemed so heavenly yesterday, but today, the day after, even typing its name makes me shudder.) But it was fun while it lasted, and much revelry was had as my compatriots and I really "tied a yellow ribbon round the Festivus tree with Jackie Gleason", as the well-worn adage goes.

Problem is, too much alcohol actually gives me a blood-sugar-bounce energy boost rather than a sick, hung over, sleep late the next day kinda thing. So I popped awake at 4:30am feeling ready to rock and roll. I should have fought the insomnia off (mind over matter, dontcha know) and rolled over back to sleep, because I crashed early today. The rainy gloomy morning weather didn't help, and neither did my car's driver-side door suddenly refusing to close - which means ALL DAY TODAY I've had to drive around holding onto the door with one hand to keep it from swinging out and smashing into stuff. Add to this a whole host of communication cock-ups that have been pluckin' on my last nerve string all day. It's the usual bit with Flakes and the realization that we're facing a dying nation like in the movie Idiocracy: people not saying what they mean, people not meaning what they say, people filing reports with non-sequitur information I didn't ask for, people just plain not understanding what I'm saying when I'm speaking the plainest English I am capable of mustering. Lay off the NutraBook and FaceSweet, y'all.

So when I finally trudge home to recline on the ol' JSH plantation, it's nice to have three bottles of Shiner Ruby Redbird waiting on me in the ol' JSH icebox. It's a new taste treat I've discovered this week, grabbed primarily on a whim. It's a limited edition seasonal beer brewed with grapefruit and ginger. Don't let that put you off - it's very subtle, and if I hadn't uttered the words "grapefruit and ginger" I think you'd dig it and just marvel at the notes that you can't quite put your finger on.

"The Perfect Summer Beer" is Ruby Redbird's tagline, and it ain't lyin'. I'm enjoying lounging around in the grass right now as I make some noise with the keys and touchpad (We have all kinds of crazy insectoid wildlife out here, from soldier beetles to weird bat-moths to dirty ladybugs, but fortunately one thing we don't have is chiggers.)

And now I'm going to finish my third one and head to the studio out back and throw some paint at some canvases. Maybe I can get something of value created before this day's a total dud. With the power of the Redbird coursing through my veins, I feel confident good things are about to happen.